TODAY I DEVELOPED THREE CHARACTERS FOR MY SHORT STORIES. MY MAIN CHARACTER'S NAME IS CLARISSA. SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND WHO SHE IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH BUT IS VERY NAIVE BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T REALIZE WHAT HE IS DOING TO HER BEHIND HER BACK. HER BEST FRIEND, MARITZA, KNOWS THAT CLARISSA'S BOYFRIEND IS UP TO NO GOOD! SHE CAN'T EXACTLY PUT HER FINGER ON WHAT HE'S DOING BUT SHE KNOWS THAT HE IS UP TO NO GOOD. SHE IS VERY SUSPICIOUS SINCE SHE KNOWS ABOUT HIS PASS RELATIONSHIPS. CLARISSA'S BOYFRIEND, TOD, CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE MOMENT TO GET IN HER PANTS. HE IS UP TO NO GOOD AND HAS VERY BAD INTENTIONS WITH HER. HE'S TRYING TO MAKE IT NOT NOTICEABLE BUT HE CAN'T STOP PRESSURING CLARISSA INTO HAVING SEX WITH HIM. WHAT WILL CLARISSA DO? WILL SHE BE SO NAIVE AND HAVE SEX WITH TOD EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NOT READY? OR WILL SHE STOP BEING SO NAIVE AND LISTEN TO HER BEST FRIEND? YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND THAT OUT WHEN THE STORY IS WRITTEN.
I CHOSE TO WRITE ABOUT THIS TYPE OF SHORT STORY BECAUSE THIS ISSUE IS HAPPENING A LOT WITH TEENAGERS NOW IN DAYS. MANY TEENAGERS ARE HAVING SEX WITH OUT EVEN BEING PREPARED JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE BEING PRESSURED TO DO IT. WITH WRITING THIS SHORT STORY I WILL TRY TO SEND A MESSAGE TO THE TEENAGE READERS. IT WILL BE UP TO THEM TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS THOUGH. I HOPE THAT THIS STORY TURNS OUT TO BE S GREAT AS I HAVE ALREADY PLANNED IT IN MY HEAD. NOT ONLY WILL IT BE INTERESTING BUT A MEANINGFUL LESSON WILL BE DEVELOPED WITHIN THE STORY. =]
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4 comments:
Gisselle,
Great blogging! I can't wait to read your story, even though I'm no longer a teenager.
One small piece of feedback for you a a writer: Your wrote
"HE HAS A BOYFRIEND WHICH SHE IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH..."
When you're talking about PEOPLE (a boyfriend, in this case), the pronoun you need to use is "WHO", not "which." So, people get "WHO"s and things get "which"s.
Keep up the great blogging!
Hi Gisselle. This post is AWESOME! I can’t wait to read your short story. It sounds like it has a lot going on but that you’ve got it under control. I can feel your excitement through your writing, and I know that’s going to make the story great. I’m also really impressed that you’re willing to tackle such a mature and complicated issue. You’re message is a positive one, and that is commendable. How do you plan to work the lesson into your story? I would try to avoid coming off to ‘preachy’ (like you’re telling them what to do. What are some ways you can do that? When ever I write about a challenging subject, I like to check out other authors who have written about similar topics and see how they did it.
I really like the way that you use paragraphs to break up the two main ideas you discuss in your post – the summary and explanation. As a reader, that made it easy for me to see when you were switching topics, which is not always easy for writer to do. Next time, think about adding an introductory paragraph to give the reader some context. I inferred from your writing that you were working on a short story of some sort, but if you were to explain that in detail at the beginning, it would really improve the structure of your post.
Fantastic work, Gisselle! Can’t wait to read your story!
check out CTG Writers Group, and their award-winning Hypothetically Speaking segments on my blog.
It showcases short character development.
Giselle,
First off, let me introduce myself- My name is Anya and I am one of Mr. Himowitz's friends. I live in Brooklyn and work for a not-for-profit organization called the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women. It is a women's advocacy organization that works to end all forms of gender inequality, and oppression of women and children. We work to end all forms of sexual exploitation against women. We strive to empower young women to believe in themselves and be assured of their self-worth and ability to achieve whatever they set their minds to. We work hard to create a place where all girls will one day have the chance to express themselves as beautifully as you do on your blog.
Introductions aside, I really loved your blog. Your report on Britney Spears was very interesting and I think that you have a great idea for a powerful story. I think your topic is not only a very important one, but it is something that all readers, your age and older, will be able to relate to. I am interested to see how the interactions between Clarissa, her boyfriend and Maritza develop and how their dialogue pushes your message. I feel that just by choosing to write about this topic, your message will be a strong example of the kind of empowerment I strive to engender in all women I work with. Everyone should have the freedom to make their own choices in life, especially when it comes to their body. A woman should have control over her own sexuality, emotions and capacity to love. I hope that with Maritza’s help, Clarissa realizes this about herself and tells her no-good boyfriend to shape up and treat her with the respect she deserves…..or else who needs him? In any case, I am very excited to see how the story starts to unfold!
I do have one suggestion for when you start to compose your story: Strong messages in stories can often get lost in the wordiness of the text, if the writer is not careful. Redundancy is using the same word or phrase over and over. I noticed in your description of your story, you used the phrase "no good" several times. I would suggest trying to switch up your adjectives and descriptive phrases is to keep the reader interested. For example, instead of saying that Clarissa's boyfriend is "up to no good" a few times, describe him as “sketchy,” or “having a one track mind.” Along with making sure your piece keeps moving without repeating itself, I suggest going over your work before posting and try to cut out any unnecessary words. For example, in your second paragraph, when you're explaining why you chose the topic you say, "I chose to write about this type of story because..." That sentence starter can stand to lose a few words and still keep its meaning : "I am writing this type of story, because..."
Keep up the great work, and I can't wait to see what happens in your next post. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have. I am sorry for taking so long to comment on your blog. I actually have an injury in my hands, which limits my time on the computer. I use most of this limited time for work, but I am very excited about the prospect of helping you with your blog. So, please bear with me and I appreciate your patience. Also make sure you always take stretch breaks every 20 minutes when at your computer, so you don't end up injured like me! Give those little muscles a break, shake out your arms and neck and go get a drink of water!
Until next time... keep writing!
Best,
Anya Cherneff
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